It has been way too long since I blogged anything. I have been so wrapped up in the world that I haven't had time to blog. The truth is that I haven't made the time. Over the past several days God has been tugging at my heart giving me words to share and I have just sat here silently. I know that this does not make my Daddy happy. My prayer today is that I don't stop. I open my mouth and He fills it. Then I pour it out to whoever is supposed to hear.
Anyone that knows me, knows I am a ponderer. I sit silently in church, I sit silently in our small group then I get home and think for a week and figure it all out and keep it to myself. In our small group we have been reading the book The God Chasers. Last week we hit on something that has been on my mind all week and this morning I hit on something that got me so riled up I have been talking to myself about it for at least an hour.
So where do I begin?
I think I will start with this mornings revelation that actually began at Sunday's church service when we were giving our tithes and offerings. It hit me that we constantly say and are told to give, to tithe and He will bless us for it. The truth is tithing, giving IS the blessing. We are blessed to have it to give, we are blessed to be a small part of watering a seed with what God has passed through our hands, we are blessed to be in church without fear... One line hit me hard this morning as I read The God Chasers..."We have managed to turn what we erroneously call 'church' into a big 'bless me club' where we sign up for this blessing and that blessing." Wow, how true! How do we not get what the writer was expressing to the Christian Jews in the book of Hebrews. He was saying then what we are still learning today. We can not earn it, it has been given to us already. Today it is just eating at me, we ask and ask and ask for blessings. We pray for them over and over again. We come expecting blessings but do we ever come expecting Him? The truth is that we have the blessing of all blessing. He died for us, He died for me. His death gave us freedom, joy and comfort. He has given us our every need and all the power of Jesus himself. All blessings are sitting there, right in front of us, all we have to do is reach for them, stop sitting and waiting for them to fall upon us because of something we have done or just because we ask. Unfortunately, most of us fill our hands with so many worldly things that we can't grab what is rightfully ours. It's time to drop everything and reach for what He has layed down in front of us for the taking. All we need is Him. Personally I have to stop telling myself that I am not worthy. Of course I am not, who is? But the blessing is He graciously gave it to me any way. Thank you Jesus!
Last week we were talking about the living water. We were talking about going deep, ankle deep, knee deep, thigh deep etc. The writer commented that the water should be the shallowest at the altar. I have to be honest I wasn't wrapping my head around that. My pondering went a little differently this time. I had pictures flashing in my mind. I was in the deepest part of a huge lake. I was soaked, wet from head to toe. Then I was suddenly floating on top of the water. It was so still, the sun was shining on me and I was just relaxing in the stillness. Next I was standing, looking down at my feet, toes in the water at the shore. I was noticing the movement of the water. It just kept moving in and out. I realized that the deepest part of the water is the calmest and most serene. The movement is at the shallowest point, at the shore. Is this what the writer meant about the water being the shallowest at that altar? I think so. I think the altar is where the movement takes place. I have been praying for clarity on this all week and I think I have it. At least I have what I am supposed to get out of it. When we go deep and soak in the river of life and float on it's majesty we will eventually end up back at the shore. The water always circulates to the shore. We show up at the shore, the altar, filled with the Holy Spirit, refreshed. We create a larger coast line, keeping it moving so others want to go deep. They see what's going on in the shallow end and want more, more, more, deeper, deeper, deeper until they are eventually swept back to altar. It is all a cycle, there is constant movement, we sit at the altar and get swept back into the stillness of the deep until we come crashing into the altar again so that we can share what we have experienced and die a little more.
I feel like we are praying for a tsunami and it is coming! It starts miles away, building strength. It begins with a shake in the deep but we can't see it from the surface until the unstoppable power explodes at the shoreline. A little shake in the deep builds momentum and ends up with a huge explosion at the altar.
The deep cries out and I praise the Lord!
Thank you Ana for your blessings. You have shaken me back into a place I left months ago and it feels so good to be back.
