I'm back! Wow, I have been on a whirlwind ride for a few weeks now. I am not sure where to begin. God has told me over and over again over the past few weeks that He wants me to share and I have ignored Him AGAIN. When will I ever learn?
A few weeks ago our small group watched a movie about healing. It was amazing stuff and honestly very hard to wrap my mind around. Sometimes you either believe or you don't. A portion of the film focused on a group of college aged young men and women that prayed together, asked God where to go and who to pray for and just did it. They went to the shopping center, coffee shop, ice cream parlor...any place God told them go. They prayed for anyone that God told them to. How cool is that? They didn't ask them to come join their church or read a pamphlet they just happen to have handy, they just wanted to show God's love no matter where you are, who you are or what you are doing.
All I could think was "I want to do that!" If you know me at all, you know that is one of the craziest thoughts I have ever had. I will pray out loud with someone, let alone a stranger when...well you know the saying...when it freezes over.
Four days later I got a call that started something that changed my life forever. It's the smallest things that God uses to do His best work! I couldn't take the call but I received the simplest message. "Will you pray for me?" My first thought was, "Why in the world would anyone call me to pray? Have you ever heard me pray out loud with anyone? Have you ever watched me pray with someone?" I nervously called her back to pray with her but left a message instead. I hung up the phone and for probably the 5th time in my life, I prayed out loud. All alone in my car, praying this prayer that touched my spirit. I finished praying and went on my way.
The next morning I was starting my day in the Word like I do most days and I couldn't get this prayer request out of my head. As you may know by now my brain does not work in the typical way. It jumps from one thing to another and God knew exactly where that phone call would lead me. It lead me back to the fight I have been fighting for at least two years.
I have felt such power in my hands, a feeling I cannot describe. I have been told by many people that I have the gift of healing. That I am a prayer warrior that I am a "powerful woman of God". I believe like no other that God can do anything, I just didn't believe He would use me to do something great. These were words of people so how do I know it's true. How do I know it is from Him. I believe, I trust, but I needed more and more and more confirmation.
Day after day I battle, this particular Wednesday morning I gave up the fight. I got on my knees and asked God to reveal to me once and for all, do I have healing hands, do I have gifts He wants me to use, is He asking me to move? "Please God tell me and make it clear, I am one hard headed woman. I am only going to believe it if it is perfectly clear. No ifs ands or buts. Please God." I stayed there on my knees, covered in a blanket in complete silence...and I got nothing, nada, zip, zero. Well that was pretty clear or so I thought.
A few hours later I received a text from a friend, a sister in Christ who is certain God has put us together for a greater purpose. The text was simple..."Do you believe you have the gift of healing hands or not?" Then she went on to tell me that God had just put it on her heart, again, that we are together for a reason and that I have the gift of healing. She knows without a doubt. How in the world can she be so certain? OK let's test this. The only way to get out of my comfort zone and let God tell me once and for all is to just do this. I suggest that instead of our planned coffee outing, we start praying. Let's ask God to tell us where to go and who to pray for and Thursday we will pray for whoever He leads us to. She is ready for the idea right away. (I admire that about her.) I am willing to go through with it, after all I suggested it, but it scares the peewadins out of me! I immediately had a name in mind and that she needed healing for her knee.
Now I knew for certain, I am crazy!! I have not spoken to or seen this woman in months. Why in the world would I think that she needed prayer let alone specifically her knee. Since this was obviously another moment of insanity, I tried to put this thought out of my mind. Again and again, she needs prayer for her knee kept popping into my head...all day Wednesday, all day Thursday. But I put the crazy thought out of my head. (I am not only crazy, I am stubborn.) Thursday evening came and it was time to go. My friend calls, she can't make it. Something came up that she just cannot get away from. My first thought, "Whew!" Next thought, "I bet she didn't even need prayer for her knee." So I can just get on with my evening of relaxation now that I have nothing to do, I decided to send my friend a text and the answer will prove my insanity. "This is a weird question out of the blue, but are you having pain in your knee?" The answer was the answer I asked for...no ifs ands or buts God, I need to know. She answered, "Why do you ask? I just had surgery on my knee."
OH MY GOODNESS! WHAT? REALLY? ARE YOU SURE? BECAUSE I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY!
That's what was in my head but my text just read, "Do you mind if I come pray with you?"
She was not only didn't mind, she was happy to have me over. She obviously wanted to know how I knew about her knee. Prior me getting to her house, she checked facebook to see if she had posted something about her knee. I got to her home and she began to tell me the tough time she and her family had recently been through. She was going to the doctor the next day and she was fearing what the doctor had to say, she had been through several surgeries, her husband and some medical issues. One thing after another.
We sat together and I began to pray. I got so hot from head to toe, broke out in sweat and could barely breathe while I was praying. By the time I finished praying with her we were both in tears. We both needed that prayer. She needed to know that God was with her through all of it. I needed to know what God wants me to do.
This was not about physical healing, although the diagnosis is still not in and we are not done praying for her, it was about emotional and spiritual healing. God worked so many ways to bring the two of us together. He gave us this time with no one else included to know we are loved by Him. He has not left our sides. She has been going through hard times and needed to know He has been there the whole time. I needed to hear Him tell me to stop fighting it and to see just how amazing it can be to let the Holy Spirits power pour through me.
I love Him more and more every day. I love His amazing signs and wonders no matter how small they seem to be. I now pray when people ask and when they don't ask. I am learning to listen. My heart's desire as I type this is to grow in my prayer life. To allow my prayers to reach the heavens, to pray loudly, strongly with certainty and expectation. I want to bring glory to God my Father in any way that He will honor me with His holy presence. No ifs ands or buts about it...He is my daddy who loves me without condition and He deserves my obedience without such a battle.
In the mighty mighty name of Jesus!
No comments:
Post a Comment