Faith Takes Practice

My life is far from what one would call perfect.  We all have our trials and I am no exception.  I used to wish that life would become boring. I had enough excitement to last a life time.  Now I am a grateful for the trials I have gone through more than I wish they had never existed. Without these trials in my life I would not have the faith I have now.  I have my moments of doubt and worry but nothing like before.

Through the years of financial difficulties I worried my way through.  I knew that God would provide for me and he proved it over and over again.  Still I worried. Through trials of illness and death of several loved ones, I worried.  I worried so much that it affected me physically.  I was constantly tired, depressed and worst of all ended up with a life threatening illness.  All the while I knew He would take care of me and every step of the way He did.  I would sing His praises to all that would listen but as soon as the grocery money ran dry or I didn't know how I was going to pay that bill or buy something my children needed I worried.  He would provide, I would praise His name and then I would worry.  The cycle went on for years.

I used to ask what it was I was supposed to learn.  "Please God tell me."  Until finally I stopped trying to learn.  Here I sit 11 years after our financial struggles began, 9 years after the death of our daughter, 5 years clean of cancer typing this and God has revealed to me what it is that I was supposed to learn. Faith takes practice.   I thought this blog came to me for another but it was for me.  Thank you Jesus! I am blown away by His perfect timing and grace.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.  But when he asks he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double minded man, unstable in all he does. -  James 1:1-8

Thank you God for the trials that have tested my faith and developed my perseverance.  My faith is stronger today than ever before.  Faith is not just something I know it is something that has saturated me heart, mind and soul.

If I could go back and do things differently I would.  If I could snap my fingers and have my daughter here with my grandchildren playing at my feet; if I could snap my fingers and have all my financial troubles be just a bad dream; if I could snap my fingers and never have had illness touch me or my family...SNAP, SNAP and SNAP.  Believe me I would choose a different path.  But I could not be more grateful for every day of my life.  Every breath I have taken has been a blessing.  I have lived through the trials for a reason...to persevere, grow my faith and PRAISE HIS NAME.

I have faith that my girl is dancing with the angels, Jesus told me so.  I have faith that no matter how much money I have or don't have it doesn't matter.  He is more valuable than the finest gold.  I have faith that no matter my health situation,  I will be completely healed on one side of heaven or the other.  I have faith that no matter what happens in my life He will provide. 

Thank you for the good times and the bad, it has made me who I am and given me the greatest gift.  I may have moments of weakness but I will also have the gift of unyielding faith. 

Father, I thank you for your trials.  I now ask in belief without doubt.  I do not want to be like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind and I ask for continued strength to stand firm in your promises.  I praise you and thank you for your grace and perfect timing.  In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.