Words

Give it All to Him.

Lay it at His Feet.

Walk in Faith.

Praise Him Always, Even in Times of Trouble.

What in the world does all this mean? It sounds like a list of great "Christian" things to say. As Christians we have so many of these words of wisdom, cute little sayings that make us feel good.  We say these things to those searching for help, needing so desperately to feel better, to hear from Him, to understand.  Then we walk away feeling good about ourselves but have we helped at all?  

I have watched people fall to their knees, myself included, completely broken, crying until it seems as though their tears have dried up.  We stand to our feet and believe with all of our hearts that we have given it all to Him.  We layed it at His feet and will now walk in faith.  We will continue to praise His name, no matter what, for the rest of our days.  I have said these words of wisdom countless times to myself, to other Christians, to those trying to follow the path to His glory and to those who do not know Him at all.  Have I helped any of them?  Have I shone any light in their direction?  I  believe in some ways God has used me to show His light, but I also believe I have not allowed it enough. Until we walk the talk, what good are all of these cute little sayings?   Yes, they may plant a seed, but until we firmly grasp what it is we are saying I believe they are just words crossing our lips.

This week I learned a valuable lesson.  Thank you Jesus.  A friend is going through some hard times and I found myself saying the usual things.  "Praise Him, no matter what, it makes all the difference in the world."  He said he wants to, he is trying to, but all he could do was cry out to Him.  I tell him the same things I have told myself countless times.  "You really have to give it to Him, lay it at His feet and then walk in it."  He asked the same questions I had asked myself, "How?"  It took me a very long time to understand that giving it to Him doesn't mean that I can now sit back, kick my feet up and wait for the manna to fall from the sky.  It is so hard to grasp, but I thought that I had and that I was walking in faith. I did get it, I did understand but I wasn't completely walking in it.  I know that now.

I have had a decade of financial problems.  I have spoken several times about my past and how I got to where I am now.  I feel like I get one step in the right direction and then bam, something else hits.  I got so good at giving it all to Him that I just didn't do anything about it.

Since our fast I have been trying to get back into taking control of the things He has given me to take care of.  But it didn't click until this week. I want to be a better me, all of me: body, mind and soul.  I have to get my finances in order and one of the things that needed to be taken care of is the filing of my taxes.  I had to file two years of taxes.  The hope was that we would get enough to pay my property taxes. But, while getting all the paperwork together I started doing a little math and worry set it.  Just a little, but it was there, creeping in, whispering in my ear.  I had to stop and tell myself that even if I do have to pay God will take care of me, don't worry, it's just money after all.  I happily went to the tax preparers office, handed over my paperwork and was told for the first year we owed a lot of money.  More than I have for sure.  Then the second year's was done and I owe twice as much for that year.  I started to sweat I got nervous and anxious then got a text.  A text from the friend I was just talking to the day before.  "Hello my friend, doing much better today."  Wow, that snapped me back in to reality very quickly.  His timing never ceases to amaze me! I just told my friend to walk in faith, give it to Him, praise Him and let Him take care of you.  Those words came back to me like sledge hammer.  Thank you Jesus!

I walked out of their so full of joy!  I can't believe how happy I am that I owe the IRS.  How can I be happy about this?  How can I sing His praises?  I gave it to Him and now I am not worried about how I am going to buy food, I am worried about how to claim the correct number of dependents.  I am not worried about how to pay my property taxes because my mortgage company called and they are taking care of that too.   This has been one of the happiest and most productive weeks in a very long time.   I can't even count the blessings that having to pay this money has given me but here are a few:

1. He has shown me that just because I give it to Him doesn't mean it is going to be easy.  It doesn't mean it's all going to be roses and sunshine it means that I will get through it and come out better on the other side than I could have ever imagined on my own.
2. He has given me the real understanding of these things I speak to others so that I can walk the talk.
3. I get to be an even brighter light in my home.  As I mentioned before, it is not easy to be married to a spouse with no relationship with Jesus or a desire for one.  I am not saying that it wouldn't be easier to have someone by my side that would praise His glorious name but I get to be the light. Through the tough patches I get to be my husband's glimmer of  Jesus and what our Daddy will do for His precious children.  I get to have joy in what he looks at as another hurdle to jump.
4. This time it is about money, other times it has been health. Who knows what the future will hold but I have learned the true meaning of walking in faith.
5. Once again, my Daddy has allowed me to climb up in His lap and get the comfort and assurance that only a Father can give.

Thank you Jesus for the lighting my path, even in the darkest of days and for loving me through it all.